Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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