I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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