even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
