You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Less talking, more tequila
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
