I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
he quoted the bible to break up with me
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
