so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
