The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
