dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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