wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
