How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
