Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
