I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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