While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
