Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
