Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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