so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
