fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you traded sex for a burrito?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
