Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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