last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
