Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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