i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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