party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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