The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
We were destined to go to rehab together
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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