I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
