Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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