Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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