What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
