so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
