3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
