hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
