there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
