Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
love makes seman taste better
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
