she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
