Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
