Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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