I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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