It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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