Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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