? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Life is so much better after having sex.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
