Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
