He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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