Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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