i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
