Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
