Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
