im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
