i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
