Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
