Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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