mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
