just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Can you bring me the toilet please
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
